Dear Woman

A friend of mine sent me this video. He said he was so moved by it, but he also said opinion seems to divide in people's reactions based on whether they really get it, or really don't. It's called "Dear Woman..."

I invite you to take a few minutes to watch it. When I did it had me sobbing.

Not because I felt it was necessarily addressed to me, but because it is addressed to the feminine and to the suffering caused to the feminine by the unconscious masculine. And I found myself tuning into that suffering and feeling it - really feeling it rather than reading or hearing about it.

What struck me most is the authenticity with which each and every man in that video speaks. I am drawn to their hearts, all of them. I am inspired by their courage and honesty. I feel like entering a meaningful dialogue with each of them, preferably beginning by just looking into their eyes.

Part way through I did feel there was a collapsing of "sex" and "gender". It's easy to say men have waged wars and women have suffered, and that women don't wage wars. It may be historically true that women have not often waged the wars that are fought, but it is also historically true that not many women have been in positions of power, at least in the last millenium or two in most societies. When women are in positions of power, we have the same capacity to wage war and we have participated in wars as perpetrators as well as victims. (see my other blog post on the Valkyries of War)

It is also an easy leap to make that women have only been victims of the unconsious masculine as expressed through men's actions. But this reduces it back to a battle of the sexes, a blame culture. Collapsing "masculine" with the gender "male" and "feminine" with the gender "female" can lead to a false perpetrator/victim dichotomy and a demonisation or idealisation of what these aspects of humanity are.

But as I kept listening I realised this collapsing redeemed itself. The men spoke also of the suffering endured by men at the hands of mothers, sisters, partners, ex-partners. They also speak of the balancing of masculine and feminine within each of us. Coming together and worshipping the divine in both these energies through our bodies sexually, and through our approach to world economy, global justice, social equality, is what can create miracles, just as these men proclaim.

What really touched me, what I appreciated, was the words spoken in responsibility, apology, forgiveness and the will to move forward. This to me is the only way to affect change. This is the next wave (see my blog post on this).

But what is required is for both genders, men and women, to embrace both the masculine and feminine within? The harms these men refer to are not a matter of men perpetrating on women, but rather of the (unconscious) masculine in all of us perpetrating on the feminine in all of us. True, women as a gender have suffered physically and politically on a more outrageous scale and more often. But it does not end there. Women have colluded as well, men have suffered as well. We need first to find a balance within. From there we can create a balance in the world.

So my response to this inspired video would be:
"Dear Man,

I thank you for your will to reach out and communicate. I acknowledge the courage it takes to face what the unconscious masculine has affected on humanity, and to own it as a part of who you are. I honour the strength it took you to really see this, to feel its impact, and to move beyond shame to a place of responsibility.

I feel blessed by the way you worship the divine feminine in me. It invites me to move into it more deeply, to trust my own intuition, to develop my capacity to feel and express joy, sorrow, forgiveness, love. It invites me to open up to you more and explore what is possible between us.

I am grateful for how you acknowledge the horrors of the past. It allows me to feel the sorrow, pain and suffering as well, which is one of the roles of the feminine. To have these things expressed and acknowledged, rather than denying them, is to help them heal.

I also take responsibility for what the unconscious feminine has done to affect humanity. The quashing of divine masculinity, the shaming of boys and men, the judgmental restriction of women's sexuality, the fighting of dirty fights. These are a function of the unconscious feminine, and I take a stand for the healing of these things as much as for the suffering caused by the unconscious masculine.

The words you speak of embracing the masculine and feminine within all of us inspire me to own my own part in the unconscious masculine as a part of me. And these words inspire me to come into a profound relationship with the divine masculine in me, and to develop and worship the divine feminine in me.

For in embracing and worshipping the masculine and the feminine, in moving towards healing, moving towards equilibrium, there must be a balance sought within. Your words to me inspire me to have this conversation with myself as much as I will have this conversation with you. Those miracles you speak of will occur when we see we are both a part of each other.

Bless you for being in this dialogue with me. And welcome."